You Must Give Up to Have It All

The season of Lent is upon us which means it is time to give something up for 40 days to represent the 40 days that Jesus spent in the wilderness overcoming one temptation after another from the devil. The purpose for most Christians is to use these 40 days to draw closer to Christ as we prepare our heats and minds for His death, burial, and resurrection on Easter Sunday. As a child and young adult I often gave us things like soda, pizza, and chocolate (the struggle was real with that last one, let me tell you.) Looking back though, none of those things prepared  my heart and mind for Easter. I guess you could call it discipline but I always found other things to takes it's place and it wasn't Jesus.It was more of a challenge, a game, and then I binged on whatever it was that I gave up.

In the last  few years, as my relationship with God as strengthened, I have instead found things to add to my daily life during this time that would help me grow spiritually. Some include, going through a specific Bible study, sending some form of encouragement to at least one person a day, and being more intentional in prayer. I found that these personally worked better for me as I sought after God and tried to intentionally show love to others.

This year it didn't take me long to figure out how I was going to live out the 40 days of Lent. Over the past several months I have found myself severely distracted. A girl who watched very little t.v. in the past now finds herself mindlessly watching shows at night that she doesn't even care about. She thinks abut reading her Bible or reading the next chapter of a spiritual growth book that is sitting on her night stand but it is easy and comfortable to stay on the couch and not think. Well, that girl is me and I keep giving myself the same excuses, "I deserve to be lazy after work," "I'll  read double tomorrow," or "I'm too tired." I've talked with my accountability friend about it and she has prayed for me but I don't do anything substantial about it. I read a quick devotional and think I've made up for it.

My second distraction is social media. Another mindless activity that takes up too much of my day. I mean, I have picked up my phone at least 3 times since beginning this  post. Why?!?! Like t.v., it can become an addicting habit. Half of the time I don't even realize I'm picking my phone up and opening apps until 30 minutes have passed me by. Why am I so interested in what someone had for lunch today anyway? Why do I read comments from the news media posts knowing that they get me upset every time because of rudeness and ignorance? Now social media isn't all bad. I try my best to use my platform for positive and encouraging posts. I like to believe that I have helped others in that way. Many of my friends do the same and it is nice to stay connected in a way to far away friends. But there is just so much nonsense to filter through.

All of this being said, for Lent I will be setting restrictions for myself with the t.v. and with social media. I will use this time to be more intentional with reading my Bible and spending time alone with God. I will use this time for prayer. My accountability friend and I are even beginning an awesome book study this week that I am super excited about. I want to focus my eyes back on the truth. I am also hoping that this will allow me to be more productive with my time and getting other priorities back in order. Although I am not giving these things up completely I will be finding a healthy balance which includes a lot more Jesus and a lot less of worldly things. He must become greater, I must become less. Feel free to ask me how it's going. Keep me encouraged with your accountability.

Here are some other great ideas for things to do for Lent:

• Pick one item from your house each day to put in a giveaway pile and donate that pile to a local shelter at Easter.

• Set out to help at least one person per day (help an elderly person or a mother with young kids with bringing their groceries out to the car, let someone in front of you at the checkout line, buy coffee for the person behind you at the coffee shop, offer to watch a friend's kid for a couple hours so they can get away, invite someone over for lunch or dinner, etc.)

• Hand write and give or send an encouraging word to a different person each day. It could be a simple as a Bible verse or to let them know you are praying for them.

• Cut back on your spending and use some of that money to increase your tithe or donate to a charity.

• Give up gossiping.

• Volunteer at your local soup kitchen, animal shelter, or another non-profit once a week.

Whatever you choose to do I pray that it will draw you closer to Christ and help you become even more like Him with your thoughts, words, and actions.

Show Some Class - My thoughts on Super bowl 50

Politics and sports talk, they bring out the worst in some people. Today I would like to address the latter. (The former is coming soon, don't worry.)

Now if you watched the Big Game the last night then you probably think you know where I am going with this. But, you might also be wrong. Here's the thing. Negativity, bitterness, and immaturity doesn't look good on anybody and I think that sports fans need to look at themselves and find some class before bashing those in the spotlight.

I'll start with Cam Newton's Post Game Interview. I don't love Cam nor do I dislike him but I personally found his demeanor immature, not classless. He hid beneath a hoodie, he sulked like an 8 year old, and he gave responses that I found rude. Sport Center reported that he was asked 16 questions, gave 6 one word answers, and didn't answer 3 questions. In his defense, I think that the media is ridiculous asking questions like, "How does it feel to lose the Super Bowl?" and "Do you feel like you let your teammates down?" Seriously?! I mean, why do  they even interview the losing team right after the game? They haven't even had enough time to digest it. Just let them lose in peace and talk with them at a later time when they are in a better state of mind. I digress. The reality is that both quarterbacks are interviewed after a game and that is something that I think he should have been better prepped for, win or lose. I think some of what happened was due to inexperience and some seemed childish. He is in a leadership role and he could have been a bit more encouraging to his team and fans while on that platform. Others are upset about how this looked to children who looked up to him. I agree it was not the best moment for a role model but have you ever unintentionally let someone down? Guess what people. Cam Newton is human! Say what?! He did not have a response and demeanor that I believe a professional should have but do you always respond the way you should to things? Do you ever look back and know that you could have handled a situation better? I don't know if he feels that way but he might. This man has done a lot of positive things for his community and has impacted many lives and it would be a shame to see it all tainted because of a response (or lack there of) stirred by emotions. He is a good athlete and an imperfect person. Show the guy a little grace.

Next, I want to talk about Peyton Manning. This guy is a great athlete. Sure he isn't perfect either because we all had to be reminded of that time in 2010 when he had a negative post game reaction. That wasn't ok either but, he is human too! Why take this joyous occasion away from him by bringing up that past event. He did it, it was wrong, let's move on (same goes for Cam.) Why take away from the positive by throwing in a negative story. I've learned over the years that people just love to hate. They hate teams, they hate players, they hate refs. Peyton and his crew have ruined many games for me, being a Patriots fan, but I don't hate the guy. I've seen multiple Patriots fans who can't even be happy for the guy. Why? Because he is good athlete? People have been quick to point out that it wasn't Peyton who won, it was the Broncos defense. Well, last time I checked they are all on the same team. Therefore, they all won. The defense had a greater effect on the game but each and every teammate walked out of there a Super Bowl Champ. Stop being so bitter and give credit where it is due. Others were quick to point out that Brady still has more rings. Well he doesn't have a Super Bowl 50 ring does he? Shoot, he didn't even play in that one did he? This is why Pats fans have such a bad reputation. I am personally happy to see him go out this way. I know he hasn't officially announced retirement but I don't know why he wouldn't at this point in his career. I'm still a Patriots fan all the way but I won't let that prevent me from celebrating another great quarterback who has found success.

Thirdly, let's talk about booing Tom Brady during the ceremony of past Super Bowl MVPs. Grow up people. What has he ever personally done to you? Has he beat your wife or killed your dog? He may  not always have the best attitude either but he is a phenomenal athlete. You can't argue that. Many people hate him and the Patriots but few have good reason. I can appreciate bantering among sports fans and friends. It can even be fun at times. Most, however, take it to the extreme and it can get ugly quick. Just today I was talking to someone about the game and he quickly stated that he doesn't like football. I went on to say that I was a Patriots fan and he replied with, "Well, I like football enough to hate the Patriots." Come on dude.  People try to get a rise out of me all the time by bashing the Patriots but it doesn't usually work. I am a Pats fan. I cheer for them and hope they win but sometimes they make mistakes or get outplayed and they lose. Oh well. My life goes on.

Football is supposed to be an outlet. It is entertainment. But it is surrounded by anger and negativity. We wonder why some youth sports are out of control. You can't always blame the players and the coaches. They spend more time around the people who talk about these things than they do the game itself. We should be the role models and MVPs in their lives and teach them to be good sports. Let us all take the higher road and just get back to enjoying the sport.

Peaks and Valleys

As we walk through life, each of us will experience different terrains. We travel on that narrow road that is sometimes smooth and at other times rocky. We climb until we reach the beautiful mountaintops and sometimes we find ourselves trudging through the deeper valleys, searching for the quickest way out. As I've spent time talking with different friends over the past few weeks, I am easily reminded that we are all on different journeys. For some of us, everything is going great and we are loving the magnificent views from the top of the mountain. But, for others, hard times have hit. Some are experiencing loss, sickness, financial strain, troubled relationships, or countless other things and they are feeling trapped in that deep, dark, valley. I'm sure you can recall times when you have been in each of these places. 

If there is one thing that I have learned about life it's that it keeps going and the only constant that we can count on is change. We will all experience bright mountaintop views and we will all find ourselves down in darkness at some point.So here is my thought for you. Neither place is permanent so embrace each place that you find yourself. 

If you are in a happy and fruitful season, embrace every moment of it. Enjoy the view. Try your best to make the most of each day, taking nothing for granted. Soak in the goodness that God has given to you and take time each day to give thanks. If you can, use what you have been blessed with to be a blessing to those who are in need. It could be with your money, your time, or even just your words of encouragement that could make a significant impact in a life.

While I wish we could all stay in that happy place forever, each of us, at one time or another, will encounter a less than desirable season of life. No matter what it is that has brought you down into that valley,  there is always a pathway leading out. Most of the time there are valuable things to be learned there. It is a prime location to allow God to refine us and make us more like Him. We find strength that we didn't even know we had. Strength that comes from leaning on and counting on God to help us. It is encouraging to know that He can and will work all things, even the worst things, for our good and for His glory. If we are open to it, these are the places where we see the most growth. We overcome what we never imagined we could. For this reason, it's important to remember these hard times so that we can appreciate the good. Think of each step back up the mountain as a stepping stone to growing closer to the Lord. We can even use our painful experiences to minister to others who are in similar situations.Use your "mess" to bless.

Stay encouraged, friends. 

We are never staying still.

Nothing is wasted in life. 

My One Word 2016

I've spent the last few weeks praying for a word that I can focus on in 2016. A word that, if I keep it at the forefront of my mind at all times, can set the tone and carry me through the year ahead. There are many great words out there but I was waiting for one to really speak to me, to touch me in a way that could potentially be life-changing if I allowed it.

My one word for 2016 is: Praise!

 I used the flight to Boston on Christmas morning to catch up on some podcasts that I listen to. The one I listened to that morning titled "Graduating in Gratitude" really spoke to me. I like to think that I am a grateful person but am I really grateful in ALL circumstances? Probably not. There are definitely times that I let my circumstances dictate my attitude. I let a bad morning control my entire day and therefore probably miss out on some blessings that God has in store for me that day. I sometimes let a bad mood or other people steal my joy. These are not things that I am proud of and is definitely something that I would like to work on. One of the best ways that I know to help keep the right perspective and attitude is to give praise and glory to God in ALL things.

That podcast reminded me that God's gifts alone are not able to bring me joy. They are able to bring me joy though when they are met with my gratitude. But having an attitude of gratitude is not enough. I must not only have a grateful heart but also grateful habits.

 "Gratitude without practice is like faith without works. It's not alive." ~ Steven Furtick

Here are what grateful habits will look like for me:

* Being grateful for all that the Lord blesses me with. Remembering that I wouldn't be where I am or have what I do without the grace and provision of God. I can't take credit for any of my successes for it is God who brought them to me and helped me get there.  I will give praise for all things.

* Being grateful even when I don't get what I prayed for. God's ways are perfect and so is His timing. He knows the whole story, beginning to end. I only see what is in front of me and what I want in the moment. He wants only what is best for me, even when it seems hard to me. If I got everything I prayed for there would be no need for faith anyway. I will praise God even when His ways are different than my ways.

* Finally, I will be grateful because of what He is doing. In every hardship, in every trial, in every dark night, God is working all things for my good. I may not always know why something happens I will not worry or be angry but I will be confident that God is in control and knows exactly what He is doing. Every season of life is hand selected from God and serves a purpose. It is through those tough times that I grow stronger in my faith and more confident in who I am in Christ. I will praise God because of all that He is doing in and through me.

My goal for 2016 is to be intentional with PRAISE each day, take nothing for granted, and live with a joyful heart, even when life isn't all sunshine and rainbows. It's really hard to be in a bad mood when you are spending time each day giving praise.

My Magical Year in Review

New Year's Eve 2015 wouldn't be complete without a few moments of reflection. This evening is going to look a lot like that of NYE 2014 and very different all at the same time. What will be the same is a nice quiet night at home with a home cooked meal, a glass of wine, Netflix, and my sweet girl Lilo nearby. This is honestly my favorite night to stay home. What is different this year is that I will be sharing this night with my husband. God new what he was doing when he sent me a man who prefers to spend a night at home rather than out and about.

Now I hate to let one event define my entire year so I won't do that. I'll use 3 ;)

The Meeting 3/15/15:
It wasn't too far into the year (March) that I first laid eyes on my handsome man. We spent an entire Saturday texting back and forth asking questions and getting to know one another. The next day I had decided that he seemed nice enough and asked him if he wanted to meet Lilo and I for a walk. After all, if Lilo didn't approve then what was the point :P We walked and talked for over 2 hours! Talking to him felt so easy and comfortable. Needless to say, the walk went well and we went out 4 nights in a row that next week.


Let's fast forward a few months.

The Engagement 7/3/15:
We spent most of the day cleaning, throwing away, and organizing my garage. It was hot but I pushed through knowing that we had plans to eat at my favorite restaurant, The Chelsea, that evening. As we were getting cleaned up Mark suggested that we go to Aperitivo, which is a place that has delicious appetizers and wine. I was excited for a night out on the town with my guy. It was after leaving the first place and after a strong thunderstorm passed by, complete with a rainbow, that we took a walk by the water. It was there that Mark got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I excitedly said yes and the rest of that evening is one big happy blur of happiness and excitement.

The rest of the summer was HOT as we were busy planning our wedding.

The Wedding 10/17/15:

The day I had been waiting for years was finally here! We got married in the beautiful outdoor chapel of Christ Episcopal Church in downtown New Bern, NC. The weather was amazing. It was the first weekend in about 4 weeks that wasn't consumed with heavy rains. Our families and friends were there, many meeting each other for the first time. Everything was perfect. I stood there at the alter trying to take in every smell, every thought, every sound. I wanted to remember this moment forever.


From the moment I said "I Do" I've done my best to be the best wife I can be. We are settling into married life and continuing to learn more about each other each day. I can't wait to see what 2016 has in store for us as we continue to do this crazy life together. Much love to you all.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Joy and Love - Advent Week 3 & 4

I'm behind on my posts but just in case you have been following, here are weeks 3 and 4 for Advent.

Week 3 we look at Joy. I always like being reminded of the difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is an emotion that can be altered by our circumstances, while joy is a choice and one that we can make at any moment. It can be hard to be happy when you are going through a difficult season but you can still be joyful. How is that, you might be wondering? You can find and choose joy when you place God at the center of everything you do. Knowing that He is for you, loves you, and is always with you allows us to be confident in who we are. This isn't always easy.

For me it is taking practice. But the more I do it the easier if becomes.

Joy is trusting when you want to doubt, receiving when you want to reject,

and celebrating when you want to fear.

"Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be for all people."

~ Luke 2:10-11

The Christmas story is about the birth of joy. As we get closer to Christmas Day let's choose to step away from the stress and anything else holding us down. Let's choose joy for the King is born and he has come to give us eternal life!

Week 4 is Love. God is love. He loved us so much that He sent His Son to be born and to die for our sins. He was born to die, to give us life. Is there a greater love than that? Because of this great love He had for us, we are able to love. God loves us just as we are and yearns for us to love others with the same magnitude. This sounds like a great plan right? Until someone gets on our nerves or does something to hurt us. How do we keep loving then? The easiest way to love others is to share God, which in turn is sharing love, even when it's hard.

You can do this by sharing your God moments with others. When He is working in your life give Him the glory. Share your experiences of when God has provided or when He has given you peace beyond understanding. Doing this may encourage someone to desire to learn more about Jesus.

Invite friends to church or speaking events or concerts. A lot of people are just waiting for the invitation. You could be the bridge they need to open up their eyes to this beautiful life of hope.

Evaluate how you currently love people. Pray for the Lord to open your eyes and your heart to love others in the way that they need to be loved.

Pray for God to help you remember the reason for the season of Christmas. In my last blog I shared some recent struggles I've had with this.  With God's help, I've been making a better effort to choose Joy and Love as I prepare for the grandest day of celebration!

Merry Christmas Eve!

A Meaningful Christmas

I don't know what it is about this time of year that can really take a toll on a person. Maybe the over packed and busy schedules of all the holiday festivities or the stress of finding the perfect gifts to give or maybe it's the crowds or traffic that flood the stores and streets. Whatever it is, it got a hold of me recently and it was not pretty. I've experienced plenty of emotions just in the last week. At one point I was feeling sad about missing some Christmas parties with friends due to other things on my schedule, to feeling sad and left out about not being invited to others. I felt rushed and stressed about not having enough time to finish the shopping, the wrapping, the cleaning. I got frustrated with plans that kept changing for my visit home to see family and friends. I was even annoyed at food choices for upcoming dinners. Seriously?!?! I had a bad attitude and there is nothing attractive about that.

It wasn't until I finally sat down Sunday evening, after a day of go, go, go and do, do, do that it hit me square in the face. I was going through some emails on my iPad and came across a devotional that had been sent to me the Friday prior that I had been too busy to read until that moment. The title interested me so I clicked on it. It read, "Is Merry Christmas Really What We're After?" At that particular moment I wasn't really sure. The writer encouraged us to have more than just a Merry Christmas but to have a Meaningful Christmas. When I stopped to think about why we even celebrate Christmas in the first place I felt ashamed. It's not about presents and parties and fancy dinners. It's about celebrating the day that Love was born into the world to save us all. It's so easy to get caught in this trap of complaining. And, if we don't catch it, it can spread like wildfire, it can strain relationships, and it can flatout make you miserable during the hap happiest time of the year.

What I'm doing tonight is challenging you to take a moment and take inventory in your heart. What is consuming you this Christmas? If it's not the miraculously birth of our Savior Jesus Christ maybe we need to take a step back and figure out why that is. I will leave you with this closing thought from the perfectly placed email that was left in  my inbox for me to read to remind me that

Jesus is the Reason for the Season.

"Yes. I want us all to have a merry Christmas. But more than that I want us to have a meaningful Christmas. Not one that is consumed with consuming or lost in senseless secondary conversations, but one that is fixed on adoration, celebration, consideration and awe. One that reflects on and gives thanks to God for sending Jesus to be our hope. One that is rich with depth and love and relationship. One that is ful of His fullness of grace." (Gwen Smith, Girlfriends In God)