Surviving the Early Weeks

Luke has been on the outside with us for one whole month now and it has been a mash up of the most challenging and most rewarding weeks of our lives. Living and caring for a newborn has been a huge adjustment. I'm not at all surprised by this, as I wasn't expecting it to be easy. I just don't think one can fully comprehend it until it is experienced. We mostly have good days which we appreciate and celebrate. On the not so great days, we remind ourselves that this too shall pass and that tomorrow will be better. I do have to say that Mark and I make a pretty great team as far as looking out for one another and trying to keep our sanity. Having him home for these first several weeks so we can focus on our family has been a huge blessing.

Here is an update on Luke:    

I will say that Luke is a pretty easy and mostly happy baby. He eats, sleeps, pees, and poops. Usually in that order. Over and over and over again. At 1 month of age, Luke weighs in at 7 lbs. He has been slow to get back up to birth weight and beyond due to some nursing related troubles. His pediatrician and a couple awesome lactation nurses (one being Luke's fraunt) have been working with us and we are finally starting to see steady weight gain.

It has been fun learning his personality, what his different cues and cries mean, and the best ways to calm him down. He likes milk, exploring his hands and trying to suck his thumb, kicking his legs, sucking on his Jolly the Giraffe paci (which has been a life saver at times), having his hair washed under the faucet, taking naps on mommy and daddy, practicing tummy time, and going for card rides (or maybe that is us that likes the car rides because it always settles him down if he is fussy.)

Luke does not care for going for walks (we reserve that activity for when he is already asleep), having his clothing removed to change his diaper, and taking baths. He is becoming more alert each day and is a very expressive baby. We can't get enough of all the adorable faces he makes. He really is an amazing gift from God and we just adore this little dude.










Here are some more thoughts on how I feel things are going so far:

• Nursing has been the toughest challenge for me. For something so natural, it sure has been a rough start. I will spare you the details but it hurt so bad! If I knew how many Lansinoh products I would be purchasing, I would have bought some stock in the company. There have been many many tears, both of pain and frustration. There were many times that I wanted to throw in the towel but I used the thought tactic that a friend shared with me and told myself that I would get through that day and quit tomorrow. I'm happy to say that we are both finally getting the hang of it though and I no longer dread feeding time. I did seek some help which helped tremendously.
• Postpartum hormones are real and they are fierce! I have no control over my crying. I find myself crying along with Luke when he is inconsolable. I cry when I become frustrated, which is more than normal due to exhaustion. I have cried over some pretty silly things in the last few weeks. 
• I have heard and read that many people have trouble going to sleep and will stay up watching them sleep. This has not been the case for me at all. Once I put Luke down and I see that he is soundly sleeping, I follow suit almost immediately. He is a pretty good sleeper and those few peaceful hours at night are refreshing. I do get up with him a couple times a night but thankfully he usually falls right back asleep after he eats and has his diaper changed. For the times he will not settle back down, Mark will go in the other room with him so I can sleep and rest up for our next dinner date.
• I think the most popular advice I have been given is to sleep when the baby sleeps. This one I have struggled with during the daytime hours. Only having a couple hours max at a time that he is asleep, I am often torn between eating, showering, sleeping, or doing something else, like trying to type this post. After not choosing sleep for the first several days, I learned that a nap must happen at least once a day. I am always happier when I do. 
• I will never again underestimate the power of a shower. Taking a shower and putting on fresh clothes is so revitalizing and makes me feel like a new woman. The shower has become a place a peace, if only for a few minutes. On the days that I can wash my hair and blow dry it too it feels like a day at the spa. 
• I still don't understand how anyone with an infant arrives anywhere on time. We are still working on that one. Thankfully we don't have too many places to be and our church has 3 services to choose from.
• I have a newfound appreciation for bringing meals to families after the birth of a child. We have an amazing village of family and friends who stocked up our fridge, freezer, and pantry, setting us up with several weeks worth of meals and snacks. I'm pretty sure we would have been living off of peanut butter sandwiches and water if it weren't for the generosity of them all. THANK YOU! We will definitely be paying it forward more often from here on out when we can.
• Finally, I am constantly reminded of the amazing women that the Lord has placed in my life. There is so much wisdom in my circle and I am thankful for every single person who has checked in on me, answered my questions, offered to help, encouraged me, and prayed for me. Your words have meant so much to me and I am thankful for each and every one of you. 

Although some days are a blur, these first few weeks have flown by and we always hear that it will keep flying faster. I'm sure we will look back someday and miss these times. Even with the challenges we encounter, Mark and I both agree that we will not wish this time away. We want to enjoy and be in the moment for each stage of this journey as a family.

Luke's Birth Story

38 weeks and 3 days. That's how far along I was in my pregnancy when Luke decided to make his grand debut. Let's rewind a little bit though.

Mark and I learned at my 35 week ultrasound that Baby Parker was still in a frank breech position. His head was up in my ribs on the right side, his bottom was down in my pelvis, and his legs were in a pike position. We joked that maybe he would be a gymnast or high diver. My midwife, who I had been seeing for my entire pregnancy shared some suggestions for trying to flip him inside the womb. One was going in for a procedure called an external cephalic version (ECV) where they try to manually flip him and is said to be very painful (60% success rate.)The other was a traditional Chinese medicine therapy called moxibustion which consists of burning mugwort near the nail of the little toes. This can stimulate movement and activity within the uterus(about a 30% success rate.) She also assured me that he had plenty of time to still make the turn on his own and not to worry too much about it. Only 3-5% of full term pregnancies result in a breech. She did mention that if he did not turn that I would most likely be looking at having a c-section. We now had some options to think about and we would check his position again in 2 weeks.

During the next 2 weeks I was given so many suggestions and tips on how to make Baby Parker turn. It was overwhelming and I had no idea what was worth trying and what wasn't. I spent some time looking up different positions that I could try to help him move on his own and gave those a try. I even gave him a few pep talks. A friend passed along some moxibustion that she had from a prior pregnancy. The problem with that is that you have to burn it outdoors because it smells so bad. We were having an extreme cold spell so I didn't end up trying that right away. I really didn't want to have a c-section and was praying that he would flip without any intervention.

Two weeks go by and I am pretty confident that our baby boy has not moved from his comfy spot. The ultrasound at 37 weeks, which was a Monday, confirmed that. My options given to me at that appointment were to try the ECV or schedule to have a c-section at 40 weeks. She said that if I wanted to try the ECV, she was would strongly suggest that I have an epidural. It can be a very painful procedure and because of my smaller size, she didn't think she and the doctor helping would be able to use their full force. If I chose this, it would happen that Friday. I asked questions about scheduling a c-section. I expressed my strong desire of wanting to experience my body go into labor naturally. She shared the concerns she had about that and how it could lead to a prolapsed umbilical cord which is very dangerous for baby. I was feeling pretty disappointed at this point and really struggled with what I wanted to do next. My pregnancy had been so smooth up until this point and it really threw me that I would not have the child birth experience that I had always hoped I would have. I so badly wanted to experience the miracle and beauty of a natural childbirth. I decided to give the ECV a try to increase my chances of that.

The days leading up to my procedure, the weather warmed up a little bit and I tried burning the moxibustion. It.Was.Disgusting! It smelled like marijuana and it was strong! I had to shower and wash my clothes after each time. I don't even know if I believe in it, but I was desperate.

Friday rolled around and we made our way to the hospital. Another ultrasound was done to confirm the breech before attempting the flip. I spent a couple hours in pre-op before being brought into the OR. The room was set up for a           c-section in the event that the procedure caused any fetal distress (which is rare) and they had to take the baby out. The epidural was awful and brought tears to my eyes. Once that had kicked in, they began the attempts to flip the baby. One of them pushed him up and out of my pelvic region while the other then tried to rotate him around. I felt very intense pressure but no pain. At one point I felt like my ribs might crack. Four attempts were made to turn him with long breaks in between each one to wait for the baby's heart rate to come back up.  I kept my eyes closed for the first 3 attempts to help me better focus on breathing. My eyes were open for the final attempt though and the doctor's whole body was shaking as he pushed on my belly. The procedure was unsuccessful and they all felt really bad. The doctor said that he was really stuck down in there and just wouldn't budge. I thought I would be more disappointed that I was but I was happy that we at least tried. The doctor that was assisting said that he wanted to see me in the office on Monday and schedule my c-section for the next Friday, 39 weeks. Not what I was hoping for but I chose to use wisdom and trust that my doctors only wanted what was best for both baby and myself. There was nothing else I could do about it so I began working on accepting it and trusting in the process.

The ECV was not that terrible and I would totally do it again. Recovering from it, however, was a different story. My stomach felt like it was covered in bruises and my back hurt like nothing I had ever felt before. I spent Friday night and all day Saturday moving around very limited and slowly.

When I woke up that Saturday morning and got out of bed, I felt something unusual. Without going into too much detail, I was almost certain that I had lot my mucus plug. Of course I went straight to Google, but even then I was not 100% certain. Other than the recovery pain that I mentioned before, nothing crazy happened for the rest of that day. Around 8:30 pm, I noticed some blood when I used the bathroom. Again, I went to Google and determined that the event from earlier must have indeed been the plug. Mark had literally just walked into the house after a 16 hour work day when I discovered this. I greeted him at the door with, "Don't freak out but we might have to go to the hospital tonight." After a couple hours of monitoring how I felt, we decided to go to bed. Around 1:30 am I got up to use the bathroom and that is when I felt the small trickle of my water breaking. Mild, irregular contractions kept me up for the next several hours. When Mark's alarm went off early that morning I filled him in on what I was feeling and told him I was pretty sure that I was in the very early stages of labor. He called into work and told them he would not be coming in. After going back and forth about what to do, we decided to go to the hospital. With several more small gushes coming out and being that he was still breech, I didn't want to risk waiting too long and putting him in any kind of danger. We took our time, showered, and made sure that we had everything we needed. We even stopped at Dunkin' Donuts so Mark could get a coffee. Definitely not like the movies haha 😉

First family photo

We arrived at the hospital a little after 10:00 am. A test confirmed that my water had indeed broke. One final ultrasound was done to again confirm the breech. Once the doctor knew what he was dealing with, I was prepped for the OR. The great thing about coming in on a Sunday was that the OR was empty and we didn't have to wait for a room or a team to be available. I was in the same room that I had been in just two days prior which was a little comforting. The epidural didn't hurt as badly this time and it was kind of nice that I already knew what to expect as far as that went. It was almost as if my procedure that Friday was a dress rehearsal of some sort. At 12:40 pm I felt the pressure of our sweet baby boy being lifted out of me (the doctor even mentioned that he was stuck pretty low in there.) It was love at first listen of that precious cry. I watched as the nurse took him and cleaned him up. I couldn't believe how little he was! She then brought him over and lay him on my chest. It was at that moment that I realized that it didn't matter at all how he entered the outside world. My disappointment of not having the birth that I had dreamed of completely disappeared. Our son was here and he was healthy. Nothing in the world could have prepared me for that moment and indescribable love that I felt for Luke when I first held him. It is the best feeling in the world!

Luke Walter Parker
3/18/18 12:40 pm
6 lbs 15 oz, 20 inches

First ever picture of Luke!

As I type this, I am 12 days postpartum and my recovery has gone incredibly and surprisingly well. I had such a great birthing experience and honestly couldn't imagine it being any different. Once again, I am reminded that the Lord's ways are so much greater than my own and He will never fail us. His way is perfect!

Stayed tuned for an update on our first days as a family of 3!

My Sweet Girl, Lilo

Lilo came into my life on 4/24/2006 when I walked into the Connecticut Humane Society originally looking for a cat a few days prior and walked out with her. You can read that story here. I don't think I had any idea how much giving this girl a second chance at life would change my own. I didn't realize that I would need her as much as she needed me through the ups and downs of life. She was there for me through so many seasons: happy, sad, lonely, confused. She always knew what I needed and always gave me everything she had. I was her person from day one and she never let me forget it.

Lilo is a dog who simply loved life. All.The.Time. She was always happy and smiling and it was contagious. She was the life of the party and she loved every person she met. She touched the lives of so many , some whom never even met her in person. People were always asking about her and following our adventures on social media. I can't tell you how many times we would be stopped at a red light, Lilo with her face out the window, tongue hanging out, and the people in the
car next to us waving and smiling at her. It always made me so happy to see her bringing smiles to the faces of complete strangers. She craved the attention of people. So much so that when we would regularly visit the dog park near our house when we lived in Connecticut, she was always more interested in greeting all of the humans there rather than their furry friends. She was never one for playing with other dogs, or toys in general. She just loved and wanted a good head or belly rub. Lilo was more of a people dog than a dog dog, but she did have a handful of  4-legged friends that she loved spending time with.

Lilo's favorite place was wherever I was. She was my shadow, following me wherever I went. It didn't matter what we were doing. Next to me was where you were likely to find her. She was almost always under my feet in the kitchen hoping I would drop some food, she would often check on me while I got ready for work in the bathroom each morning,  she joined me for early morning garage workouts, and loved to be outside with me whether it was to walk to the end of the driveway to check the mail or to keep me company while I did yard work. One of my favorite things to watch her do was roll around in the grass. It was impossible not to smile when she did that, no matter what kind of day I was having. She reminded me to enjoy the little things in life. I cherish all of the adventures we had together, including: 12+ hour road trips to and from New England, trips to the beach, sunrise walks at the river, hikes up Sleeping Giant, and walks around town. They were all more fun with my sweet girl by my side.

 

Now don't get me wrong, she definitely had her moments. Like the time she was regularly getting into the trash can while I wasn't home and I walked in one day and she greeted me with a yogurt cup stuck on her nose (I wish I had a picture of that one haha.) Or the time my roommate and I closed her up in a bedroom while we moved some furniture into our apartment and she clawed halfway through the wooden door to try to get out to us. This was after she busted through the screen door on the back porch where we had first put her. Or the times when we would go to the park down the street together to run around and she would completely zone out from obeying me and run off whenever she saw a squirrel. I cherish those imperfect moments just as much. At the end of the day, she was the perfect dog and the best cuddler.

I believe that the Lord worked through Lilo to share some valuable lessons and values with me. Unconditional love is one of those.  It didn't matter how many times I yelled at her when she misbehaved, she was always ready to forgive me and act like nothing ever happened. It didn't matter how many times I had to leave her behind at home, when she tried so hard to follow me out the door, she always welcomed me home with so much love and excitement, her tail wagging a mile a minute, and her tongue ready to give me sloppy wet kisses. That was always one of the best feelings in the world, her greetings as she celebrated my homecoming. I still find myself looking for her face in the window when I pull into the driveway. Loving me was all that she knew how to do and she did it so well. 


I've always loved this quote from the book Marley and Me:

“A dog has no use for fancy cars, big homes, or designer clothes. A water logged stick will do just fine. A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb. Give him your heart and he'll give you his. How many people can you say that about? How many people can make you feel rare and pure and special? How many people can make you feel extraordinary?” 

Lilo encouraged me to be present and to live in the moment. There were many times when she would nudge my arm away from my phone or computer to remind me to pay attention to her.  After all, she did wait all day for me to come home to her. I tried to use our daily walks around the neighborhood and trips to the river as a time to appreciate the world around me and the little things like birds flying around and flowers blooming in odd places, and I often used those peaceful moments for times of prayer. I have committed to not let those walks end just because I don't have my favorite walking partner with me anymore. They will now also become a time when I can look back and smile, thinking about our time together.

Patience and perseverance are what Lilo taught me in her last year with me. It was so hard to see my sweet baby girl growing older but I had to remember that this was a season of her life when she needed me and relied on me more than ever. 2017 was plagued with more vet visits than I can count but Lilo was one strong, resilient pup who kept fighting and pushing through those challenges- ear infections, a

scratched retina, tooth extractions, seizures, arthritis. Nothing stopped her. and nothing broke her spirit. Living with stage 3 kidney disease for the last 4 months caused Lilo to have to be let out about every 4 hours or so, which involved me coming home every day during work and waking up in the middle of the night (in freezing weather,) often more than once. This also resulted in many accidents having to be cleaned up. It would have been easy to become frustrated, and at first I did, but I had to remember that this behavior was not intentional and that she was trying her best. I accepted it and allowed it to just became part of our new normal routine and I'm not going to lie, I still wake up in the middle of the night hoping to hear her pacing around the house waiting to be let out. Finding time to leave work every day was not always convenient or easy but I learned to love and look forward to our mid-day walks and short escapes from busy days. Lilo's hearing also became limited which created a challenge at times. Car rides became increasingly more difficult as her balance was not what it once was, which led to a very anxious dog. I learned that becoming upset and frustrated with her would not change anything so instead I chose to accept and love her where she was at and to give her the love an support that she had always shown me when I wasn't at my best.  All it took was looking at her sweet face and it wasn't very hard to do.

I was blessed to have Lilo in my life for 12 amazing years. We moved 6 times and experienced so much together. I chose to spend every free moment that I had with her and included her in everything that I possibly could. Honestly, a lot of what I chose to do revolved around if Lilo could be included or not and I do not regret that one bit. I hated being away from her. She graciously shared the attention when Mark entered our lives and gave him her seal of approval on our wedding day as he gathered our rings from around her neck. She loved him so very much and I'm thankful for a husband who loved her as much as I did. We made a great pack.

 Lilo was so good with children and I wanted more than anything for her to be around to meet her baby brother. Although she will not be here physically, I will take her love for life and all that she taught me about unconditional love, patience, and living in the moment and implement those as we welcome Baby Parker into our lives. I was touched by what a friend shared with me when she learned of Lilo's passing, "The world is a little darker with her not in it. Life is filled with sad and devastating events but around the corner is new life and beautiful moments." I believe that is what Lilo would want me to focus on. The beautiful life that we have ahead of us with our precious baby boy.

Lilo will always be my pretty baby and sweet girl and I will never forget a single moment of our time that we spent together. She was loyal, faithful, trusting, selfless, loving - my very best friend for 12 years. So much love and laughter lives in our story. No words will ever be able to sum up the amount of love shared between this girl and her dog. While I may never understand why our beloved pets can't live as long as we do, I trust that God used my time with Lilo to help me grow and to prepare me for even greater things ahead in my life. Although she no longer walks beside me, there is a very large part of my heart that will forever be hers and for that I am thankful.

I love you, my Sweet Girl! Until we meet again. <3

Lilo Parker
2003 - 2018

Wear Sunscreen

I'm not sure what took me so long to take the great advice from the widely shared column article from 1997 titled Wear Sunscreen that become a popular graduation speech. Here it is if you need a refresher or have no idea what I'm talking about.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/chi-schmich-sunscreen-column-column.html

It wasn't until I reached my 30's that I started taking sun protection seriously.  I grew up spending my summers at the beach and wearing strong sunscreen was not really a big priority. I sported a sweet tan every year but unfortunately nursed many sunburns with bottles of green gooey aloe. My young self didn't mind though. It seemed like a small price to pay to get the perfect tan that I desired.

Once I reached my 30's I started to notice some of the damage the sun had caused to my skin over the years of abuse. A few years ago I went to a dermatologist for the very first time and had to have a spot on my back removed, which thankfully was benign. It was then that I vowed to start loving my skin more. It took a perspective change for me. I take care of my body by working out regularly and eating well so why would I constantly purposely damage the largest organ in the human body? It didn't really make sense. I realize now that healthy skin is so much prettier than tan skin.

While I can't undo all of the damage that has already been done, I will take the extra measures to prevent more from taking place. For my face, I apply moisturizer with SPF daily and when at the beach I always have on a baseball cap or woven wide brimmed hat to shade my face from the sun. For beach trips I am also now wearing sunscreen with SPF 50. That's 35 to 46  higher than what I used to wear! Wanna now the crazy thing? I still have a sift sun-kissed glow even with SPF 50. A tan without the burning and peeling and rubbing myself in green goo.  I never would have guessed. It's the best of both worlds. I know my practice is not perfect but it's a whole lot better than what it was.

If you are a sun lover who doesn't use protection, trust me, it will catch up to you. Do yourself a favor and love the skin you're in by showing it some love. It's not too late. 😎

A Mother Like No Other

My mom. This blog probably won't due her justice but I'm going to try.


From as early on in life as I can remember my mom has been:

• my biggest supporter
• my caretaker
• selfless
• a shoulder to cry on
• my chauffeur for many years
• second, in order to put me first
• my voice of reasoning
• forgiving
• patient
• my safe place
• my friend
• my role model

Honestly, my mom does it all. There have been plenty of moments in time when we were not on the same page, and for the record, she was usually on the right one, not me. But as I sit and think about the years of my childhood and adolescence, and even adulthood, my mom has always put my sister and I first. Never once did one of us go without so that she could have or do something. Mom has always wanted the very best for us that she was able to give. She is the definition of selfless and embarrassingly, I must admit that is something I think I took for granted for many years. The older I get the more fortunate I realize I am to have a real relationship with my mom. She has helped me to grow into the woman I am today and for that I am  thankful.

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."

~ 1 Thessalonians 5:11

The verse above is my mom. She is our family's biggest cheerleader and encourager. She leaves everyone better than how she found them. She has a loving and compassionate heart that aims to please others. How do I repay my mom for all that she has done and will do for me? I'm not sure I properly can but with a Thank You. Thank you for showing me how to treat people and for giving me all of the tools to be a good wife. Thank you for letting me learn some life lessons the hard way. Thank you for being there for me any time of day no matter what. Thank you for being you. I will make the promise to be the same kind of mom to my future children.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom! I love you!

Easy Is Not Always Best

I will begin this post by saying that I love the professional that I am in of Health and Fitness. From teaching classes to personal training to interaction with members throughout the day, I love to share what I know about living a healthy lifestyle. I do my absolute best to practice what I preach by maintaining a healthy lifestyle that includes being physically active, focusing on wholesome nutrition, keeping stress levels low, being drug and smoke free, limited alcohol consumption, getting appropriate amounts of sleep, and maintaining healthy boundaries in all of my relationships. Am I perfect? Not by any means, I am human. I do, however, recognize that there are people who look to me for guidance, encouragement, and motivation when it comes to learning how to live a healthy lifestyle so I do my absolute best to be a good example for them. I think this is why I was so bothered by a sign that I passed earlier this week outside of a wellness studio that holds fitness classes.

The sign out front read "Detox Yoga, it's easier that avoiding junk food."

UGH!!! Seriously?!?! Someone new to this may read this statement and think "WOOHOOOO!!! I just found the answer to my bad eating habits!" What I read is, "These instructors and owners are uneducated in the matter." Is it easier? Possibly. But is it beneficial? Not really.

I don't care who you are or what you do, you simply cannot out-exercise bad eating habits. Working out for 2-3 hours a day will not cancel out the crap you put into your body at each meal. Even if you  happen to be successful in this temporarily by keep weight off, your insides are telling a different story. Skinny or thin does not automatically equal healthy. This facility is saying, "Hey, don't worry about putting crap into your body. Take this detox class and it all goes away." It gives false hope to  the person who may not know any better. They think it must be true if a fitness professional told me so.

I feel it is my job as a health and fitness professional to encourage and teach healthy habits all around. I don't understand how gyms host regular pizza and bagel days for their members. Do they even care about the health of their members or do they just use that to lure more people into the door and make them feel like they need to workout more? I'm not saying myself or my clients should never indulge in an unhealthy meal occasionally, but I'm not going to put it in there faces and tempt them while they are trying to make positive changes in their lives. I would be setting the up to fail. My goal is to give them all of the tools that they need, if they are seeking them, to help reach their goals and this goes beyond lifting weights and running laps.

I know that I can't control what other people do but what I can do is help spread the truth and raise self-awareness. I don't have all of the answers and sometimes research will change our way of thinking. I will be confident in what I do know and share and find the answers to the questions I don't already know. I want my clients and students to be successful in their pursuit to a better them and I want them to be confident that they are in good hands.

In closing, there is no on-size-fit-all method. Through trial and error, find what works best for you. What has worked wonders for your best friend might not be the best solution for you. Their successful nutrition plan could potentially do the opposite for you. We are all made differently. Hormones and genetics play a huge role in the way our bodies respond to different things. You must become a detective. If you need help with that feel free to contact me. I am more than happy to guide you in the right direction.

All I can do is say Thank You

I woke up this morning with thoughts of going down to the river but when I looked outside all I saw were clouds. I knew the rain wouldn't start falling for a couple more hours but I contemplated going back to bed for a little while longer. Lilo had other plans in mind though and was full of energy upon getting out of bed. I figured that even if I probably wouldn't see a magnificent sunrise today, Lilo would at least get some good exercise. So into the car we went. Pulling into the parking lot I discovered that my thinking had been all wrong and the most glorious display was taking place before my very eyes. I stopped for a moment to take in the scenery and snap a few pictures for my SnapChat friends. We then made our way to the far end of the beach for our morning routine.

The thing about going down to the river at sunrise that I love is that it is so quiet and serene. I use this time, as Lilo runs in and out of the water getting nice and sandy, to pray as I walk. Today, as I slowly made my way and got ready to bring my prayers to God,  I felt the need to stop and be still. I found a large rock to sit on and just stared out at the light reflecting off the water. Lilo, who was already a couple hundred feet further down the beach, turned to see that I had stopped and ran back over to me and sat quietly by my side.

As I sat and began to pray, the only words that I could get to come out of my mouth were "Thank You." I had this overwhelming feeling of gratitude towards God as I realized that He has given me everything that I need. This got me to thinking about how easy it is to focus on our wants and what we think we need from God without recognizing what He has already done. When I stopped to give thanks for all of His blessings first, it made all of the worry and concerns for some of the unknowns that have been placed before me so small. He was gently reminding me that He has never failed me before and He doesn't plan on starting now. To me, there is no greater feeling than the one of unexplainable peace that can come from nobody but the Lord my God himself.

The next time that you are facing a hard time, try to take a moment to look back on all of the ways that God has provided for you or made a way in the past. Hold on to the promise that He is for you and with you always and live your life confident in that truth.

Thank You, Jesus!